The Price We Pay When We Choose Loneliness over Love
Love and loneliness are intimately related. They either open up the heart or completely shut it down.
Most of us will experience love at some point in our lives and are left hurt when that love ends. We are bound to get hurt by love when we are younger, as we most likely do not have the capacity to stay and integrate the process of detachment and lost connection just yet.
Decisions We make out of Self-Preservation
Often we make the decision in the moment of hurt to withdraw within ourselves. In the process, however, we close off parts of ourselves to avoid getting hurt more deeply at present, or later on.
When we don’t open up, to be vulnerable and connected with others, we cannot invite love in, and furthermore, the price we pay is the onset of loneliness.
The human need for connectivity is as old as mankind. When we lived in tribes, the punishment of exile from the tribe was considered worse than death. You can imagine then how deep our need for connection is, and how profound is the pain through loss of love.
Reverting back to Love by Moving through Loneliness
As an exercise, observe yourself escaping into loneliness. Follow that feeling so as to really feel the pain of loneliness, in the heart, the breath and the chest. Once you build up a capacity to feel through it, you will come upon the pain of loss of love. See if you can do the same with this feeling. Feel it in its entirety without further dwelling on it as self-pity or escaping from it, but become fully aware of the depth of the pain and sorrow of it.
Resilience is the Container, Love is the Healer
By giving attention to that loss of love and the memories and pain attached to it, you will heal that pain.
Through connecting and loving again, now with more resilience, you will have the possibility to love deeper, knowing that love and relationships will come and go, as with all things in life that are bound by time and space.
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