Love and loneliness are intimately related. They either open up your heart, or completely shut it down.
Most of us will experience love at some point in our lives, and are left hurt when that love ends. You are bound to get hurt by love when you are younger, as you most likely do not have the capacity to stay and integrate the process of detachment and lost connection just yet.
Decisions You Make Out of Self-Preservation
Often you make a decision in the moment of hurt to withdraw within yourself. In the process, however, you close off parts of yourself to avoid getting hurt more deeply in the present, or later on.
You are bound to get hurt by love when you are younger, as you most likely do not have the capacity to stay and integrate the process of detachment and lost connection just yet.
When you don’t open up and allow yourself to be vulnerable and connected with others, you cannot invite love in; furthermore, the price you pay is the onset of loneliness.
The human need for connectivity is as old as mankind. When we lived in tribes, the punishment of exile from the tribe was considered worse than death. You can imagine, then, how deep your need for connection is and how profound is the pain you experience through the loss of love.
Reverting Back to Love by Moving Through Loneliness
As an exercise, observe yourself escaping into loneliness. Follow that feeling so as to really feel the pain of loneliness-- in the heart, the breathing, and the chest. Once you build up a capacity to feel through it, you will come upon the pain of the loss of love. See if you can do the same with this feeling. Feel it in its entirety without further dwelling on it as self-pity or escaping from it, but become fully aware of the depth of that pain and the sorrow of it.
Resilience is the Container, Love is the Healer
By giving attention to that loss of love and the memories and pain attached to it, you will heal the pain of loneliness.
Through connecting and loving again, now with more resilience, you will have the capacity to love more deeply, knowing that love and relationships will come and go, as with all things in life that are bound by time and space.
How is your heart area? Leave your comments here below.