You are victim-blaming! Your courses should be free! You have no qualifications!

Your courses should be free!

About 70% of my resources are available for free on the blog section of my site. If you can not afford the paid resources, please have a look there.

Developing and launching courses and trauma healing resources requires a financial investment on my part. I hire people and pay for software to produce these resources, and I put 20+ years of experience into this work. Furthermore, income generated from paid material is reinvested into reaching more people and making new resources. This should go without saying, but this is my profession and I require a living wage from it.

I understand your situation might be difficult, and you are not alone. Many people with cPTSD are in a similar spot, which is why I try my best to price the paid resources fairly according to value; if they still aren't accessible to you, please start with the blog section.

You are victim-blaming!

I am not victim-blaming.

What I have done is to carefully describe the processes involved, on a mental-emotional and at times physical level, when you are dealing with Post-Traumatic Stress in order to create insights and a framework to be able to address trauma and work through it.

What I am NOT doing is promoting or excusing a victim mindset. What happened to you is not your fault, but your recovery is your responsibility. No one else can do that for you.

I agree that anger is appropriate towards those who have abused you; however, constantly taking offense seems to be the new default, and some people seem to think that being offended gives them the green light to indiscriminately start name-calling or abuse others.

Constantly taking offense, excessive self-righteousness, fault-finding, or blaming are overflowing responses of uncontained anger. Continuous overflowing anger, through the above expressions, will alienate you from others, and self, and will not lead to any form of integration and healing, even if you find people or groups who agree with you. Being identified with toxic self-righteous people or groups will only fuel your anger while you are being hijacked by your need to belong to a particular tribe, group, or ideology.

You have no qualifications!

I am fully trained in CranioSacral Therapy, SomatoEmotional Release, and Visceral Manipulation. CranioSacral Therapy and Visceral Manipulation are specialized Osteopathic modalities.

I am also partly trained in Somatic Experiencing but I did not care to finish that study as there was too much overlap with my previous studies of SomatoEmotional Release and CranioSacral Therapy.

Furthermore, I have 20+ years of actively working in private practice with people from all over the world, and with all kinds of conditions.  I have helped hundreds of people, through individual sessions, make significant change in their personal well being. Additionally, I have reached many thousands more through my insightful, accurate, and descriptive writings about the harrowing conditions of Complex Trauma and PTSD. My experiences are extensive; I have worked with babies, children, and adults, and that work has ranged from working hands-on to resolve chronic pain, to working with people from all backgrounds with Complex Trauma & PTSD.

My body of work, available on the website, reflects the depth of my insight and experience, as do the many accolades from private clients and those who have purchased my courses.

+ read testimonials of clients

It is up to you see if my material resonates with you, and whether or not you wish to make use of it. I am interested in people who are willing to do the work and come to their own conclusions. I am not looking for followers, nor am I interested in putting a string of initials after my name. All “letters” prove is that you attended classes and graduated; they prove nothing about your competence, depth of knowledge, diligence, or ethics.

If you are looking for "specialists" with what you consider "qualifications," then by all means try your luck with "qualified specialists." You are free to decide with whom you want to work. The feedback I have gotten from many clients over the years is that most of them know very little of Complex Trauma or PTSD, let alone how to treat those conditions effectively.

To your recovery,
Roland

Check Out Our courses!

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Course on Healing from Narcissistic Abuse


When you have decided that enough is enough; healing from narcissistic abuse 

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Related to Post-Traumatic Stress


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  • Simone says:

    This response checks all of the boxes for me. I find that people who demand services for free (mostly) haven’t made themselves available to the information that you do provide for free. So speaking from that minority group, I have made great progress with my healing from your free content and I’m thankful for it! As for cost, nothing is free in life and if it’s free then it’s not taken seriously. I’m happy to pay you for your services because living life isn’t free! Keep doing what you’re called to do sir!

  • Fred Mayer says:

    First up, my sympathies.
    I can’t afford courses, and I really appreciate all of the free content you and others provide.
    Over the last few years, I have learned a great deal about how trauma has affected me and everybody else too.

    One thing I noticed recently, I don’t know if this is just me or if others get it too.
    When a friend is telling me about a dispute with another, say their partner for instance, it is often told in the first person:
    I said to her “You did this, you did that”.
    Even though my rational mind knows they are talking about somebody else, I respond emotionally as if I am the accused.
    And of course I know I’m completely innocent, so I’m being falsely accused.
    This leaves me feeling intensely uncomfortable, and I think I’m starting to understand why.

    Consequently, even though I’m pretty much on your side on this, I found the piece very hard to read.

    Love
    Fred

    • Roland says:

      Hi Fred, great to hear the resources are helping you! Try crossing your arms when a conversation like that comes up. It might help you to hold your space/boundaries better.

  • Florence says:

    Hi Roland, sometimes we need to rant which is perfectly fine. You pose the question and I wonder, do you believe you were ranting?
    I found value in your response and as I read through your post, I became curious of your motivation for even responding. What nudged you to write this article if you believe these comments are from a source of pain? Whilst I found value in your post, I also sensed an element of Justification from you.
    What are the reasons that people that might make such comments? What are some really concerned about, Is there wisdom to be uncovered?
    FYI, my academic education is limited, however, my life education is PHD+ and continues to expand every day :-))

    • Roland says:

      I did my best to make my responses as thoughtful as possible and look at it from the perspective that people lash out because they are suffering. I don’t think there is much of a rant in the post (though my wife had me edit out some of the sharp edges). That said, I wanted to do the exercise of writing something out to set a healthy boundary. Sometimes these responses get under my skin as running a project has its challenges and ups and down and statements like these can feel invalidating.

      • Rachel says:

        Good morning Roland!
        First, thank you for the free resources you provide for me to assist in my path forward :). Second, a perspective that “people lash out because they are suffering”. That statement, while accurate more often than not, is not one hundred percent true. Sometimes people lash out because they are a**holes. Furthermore; you know you are doing something good when Not everyone agrees with you. You are walking out your calling, continue in that and let the naysayers be. Lastly, understand not everyone is a good human.
        You be the good human, which you are thankfully, and just continue in your work. Wishing you the best in All things

  • Tammera says:

    This was very well responded to. I have to say your content and courses have helped me immensely in both my personal and professional life and I recommend you often. Some people respond to you or to anyone with emotion when they are coming from a place of pain, abuse, and their own suffering. Your compassionate and informative response was great. ~~peace, Tam

  • Hi Roland,

    I find your responses very appropriate.
    I work with sex and porn addicts and have had a few cases of blaming and shaming on me, like you have experienced. I appreciate your honesty and sharing on this topic.

    All the best from Denmark 😊

    Regards,
    Tanja Glückstadt

  • Diana says:

    I believe that if we know that we have skills and experiences that are able to help others and we also feel the impetus to do so, then offering this out to the world to share is exactly the perfect course to follow. I often wonder where I would be had my many teachers in this life chosen not to share their wisdom with me. I appreciate the work of yours, both paid and free that I have taken in. Thank you for it. Living with trauma is damn hard and the more actually helpful resources out there, as you are one, the better for all of us. I also appreciate that you chose to address the intense accusations coming at you and the way in which you did it. Well done. It shows we don’t have to cower when being attacked, not do we need to respond with equal amounts of aggression. It’s a good teaching in and of itself. Blessings.

  • Niki S says:

    Hi Roland
    I had searched many years to find adequate help, and found your course on Trauma healing, as well as help from an australian source, but different. I also found a psychiatrist/psychologist who knows about narc abuse and helped me through the toughest parts applying EMDR.
    I worked with your courses every day during almost 6 months, and get back to it now and then. What makes your work stand out, is the quality of your meditations, your soothing, securing voice, your capacity to guide through the healing felt sense meditations, as if you were in my mind and body. Very efficient and soothing.
    I think that before using your healing tools, a victim of abuse must feel validated and be given time and space to vent and be heard. There are other sources for such. I agree that the victim has to become aware of their own power and responsibility to heal from the inside out. I had to.

    Do you have a meditation/video on forgiving/letting go? And more on anger stuck in the body due to fear of punishment when anger is expressed?

    • Roland says:

      Hi Niki, great to hear you have been making progress and are still using the trauma care meditations. We are currently working on a meditation app for trauma specifically and I will take note of your request for a meditation on letting go, forgiveness, and anger.

  • Jeremy says:

    It’s hard for me not to just label these people who are throwing shade as entitled morons and dismiss them from all thought. Your response was much more measured, respectful, and mature. 🙂

  • Jenny says:

    Hi Roland, I’m a psychologist in Australia with 30 years providing counselling for people in need. I’m also a client from time to time, receiving assistance and guidance over the years, from a diverse range of souls. I’m happy that you wrote this piece for both you and those you are helping. Setting boundaries, having your own voice , not being victimised yourself- it all feels very important to me.
    I found your comments on anger and toxic people/groups to be really very interesting and helpful. Thank you.
    I’ve spent my whole career being amazed at the variability in the effectiveness of helping professionals across the different disciplines. Some of the most qualified people can really go off the rails, others are just in the wrong area of work given their natural talents. Practitioners who are lesser qualified can be the most gifted and effective helpers. The best assistance I’ve received over the years has been outside the western realm. Eastern traditional wisdoms have been incredibly important in my personal journey.
    I believe it’s really important as a client to not be blinded by the qualifications an individual might hold. Qualifications are a useful guide, a starting point, but no more than that. It’s important to be discerning.
    Anyway thanks for your contribution to the healing arts!

  • Marie-Claude Nantel says:

    Dear Roland,
    Your work is important and matters. You have helped me heal, understand, contextualize and land in my own body.

    I totally get the these comments are upsetting. I can only imagine what that feels like.
    i also think it is wide to offer answers to stand up and defend yourself and your work.

    The fact remains that not all people are at the same place. Different perspectives clash, which is, I think, a normal part of evolution. It’s like we are in the middle of something that we won’t see through in our lifetime. Frustrating, yes. But normal, considering how living beings evolve.

    There is no doubt in my mind the you are a healer and a communicator. But some people will not understand this type of healing because they are not ready. Everyone has their own timing, I find. I should know, I wasn’t ready just a few years back. I would have been offended and defensive to be told I was responsible for taking care of the abuse I suffered from.

    But now that I’m ready, the teachers appear 🙂 And I’m very grateful for that.

    As you said in one of you courses we live in a narcissistic society which is unable to see it’s own shadow. Collectively we seek a moving target for the fear and stress we feel inside. You happen to have become a target in the public sphere. I’m not surprised, most of my friends think the trauma work I do is insane.

    There are a few twist of phrases and paragraphs that I would tweak in your answers. You want to sound firm but at the same time at peace with what you bring to the world. It’s a difficult balance to get.

    Many thanks to you,

    MC

  • Brenton says:

    Dearest Roland, you might mention that taking responsibility for self-healing involves acknowledging and participating in the exchange of energy involved when a healer/therapist uses their skills and spends their time assisting in that process. This exchange can involve many things, but most often in our society means a financial payment for services. Not recognizing and making this exchange may be part of what needs healing.
    Your justification of training, dedication, etc is a little defensive, and in my opinion unnecessary. It is subsumed in the higher principle I have outlined above.
    Keep up your Good Work and don’t let the bastards get you down!

  • Elizabeth says:

    I say Bravo to you! You have helped me tremendously and I have nothing but gratitude toward you. I appreciate your free content and I also purchased meditations from you which I find very healing. I understand the need to respond. I am a teacher and hear unfair comments often about my profession. Sometimes I let them roll off me and other times I need to set a healthy boundary as you did.

  • Sage Amanda says:

    Thanks for starting a conversation and participating in discussion around this! I find enjoyment in the engagement you have offered.

    From my perspective, most of the comments you have received as criticism are projections of insecurity: the three concepts listed (cost, blaming, qualifications) can be seen as excuses from the injured self who is still unable to see that personal responsibility is the way out of cycles of pain. Specifically, I mean that attacking you for moving forward with what you’ve got in the practical ways you have chosen (paid content for your costs, directing responsibility to the one who seeks healing, moving forward from where you are rather than waiting for “perfection” such as having the “correct” credentials or waiting for external validations before acting to offer help others).

    For those who feel stuck and might effectively be, as their beliefs are limiting their growth, I think seeing you do it rather than allowing yourself to justify excuses not to do it (yet) might feel painful and reflects that they are making excuses to remain in an injured place instead of moving through. And because of their trauma, their response is to bring down, minimize, degrade, and explain away the material that is challenging. Attacking your course offerings and your self is one method of resolving the discomfort in the moment.

    I personally do not believe there is a right way to repair oneself from trauma and believe that trying different things at different times in an option to find alternative ways of experiencing life, maybe in a way that feels better than what is perceived as intolerable in the current moment.

  • April says:

    This is a thoughtful, clear, and concise response with an impressively neutral tone—definitely not a rant. Personally, I am deeply grateful for you and your work. Thank you for devoting your time and energy to helping others heal.

  • Marlene says:

    Oh no! I’m so sorry that some feel so justified in their little minds and expect everything for free. And yes, if we don’t take responsibility for our lives, action and even thoughts, how can we expect to heal??

  • Kate Rose says:

    Hi Roland,

    Your resources have not only helped me understand and deepen my experience of the mind/body connection but they have given me tools to handle my offences.

    Unhealed people will be triggered by your freedom from the norm in terms of qualifications as it taps into that highly charged nervous energy that fuels not only offence but most likely jealously.

    I don’t think you need to justify yourself in any way. Your work stands on its own. But I did get the impression that there was a slight dig at people with qualifications working in the trauma field.

    For some, the online platform is not appealing and one to one work with a physcologist/therapist in their local area is all they can cope with. Sometimes the online avenue needs a hands on assistance to make resources accessible. I have guided several people to utilise your resources and will continue to do so.

    Thanks again for your ongoing presence online. It’s a powerful tool. I can imaging it must be hard at times though. You have put yourself out there and that is priceless!

    All the best ..
    Kate

  • Sabrina says:

    Therapists of all kinds have the right to make a living. There are many different kinds of credentials, one not being somehow superior to another. Education, websites, experience, and course development are not free in their process. Your prices are very reasonable, and you generously provide no cost resources. Your offerings and writing are valuable and appreciated. Thank you!

  • Rachel says:

    Roland,

    I wanted to thank you for the good work you do, and I understand where you’re coming from. I run a platform and podcast for people healing from childhood trauma, childhood emotional abuse, childhood neglect, and narcissistic abuse from a Christian perspective but with all being welcome, and while I haven’t encountered a lot of the entitlement you mentioned regarding all your materials should be free, I know I will, because I’ve been in healing communities for a few years. I’ve seen how some people even run smear campaigns against teachers I know to have integrity, compassion, and a strong work ethic, even those that provide a lot of their materials for free.

    You do need to make a living wage, and there’s nothing wrong with doing so with the good work you do. Absolutely, our healing is our own responsibility, and all your work should not be free. As a matter of fact, if someone invests in resources to help them heal, they’re more likely to value them and follow through with them. You have strong qualifications, insights, and experience, and put a lot of time, money, and energy into the platform, and deserve to be paid, even if that isn’t your main reason for what you do.

    I have a free podcast, Facebook group, and Youtube channel, and I’m struggling to make the transition to monetize some of my products, but like you said, running a platform, creating courses, and building other materials is an investment of time, money, and energy, and everyone has to live. I have purchased your Trauma Care meditations, and the subtle insights in them are unparralleled. Moreover, I’ve recommended your site and work on my podcast to my followers as well. Thank you for all the work you do, both free and paid.

    Regards,
    Rachel Leroy

  • Matthew Myburgh says:

    I stumbled on your course à number of years ago. I am not sure why anyone would go to the trouble to discredit you unless they were not of clear mind or had an alternate agenda but it’s clear to anyone who has been though trauma that your thinking and méthodologies are hugely bénéficial and I am sure that you have improved the lives of many people. I for one am hugely grateful.

  • Holly says:

    Some people misdirect anger which seems to be the case here with you being unfairly accused of wrongdoing Roland. Fortunately you understand this and know that dysfunctional conflict is nothing to personalize. You also understand that it can be a trauma reaction. Your work has changed my life and I feel huge gratitude for all that you share. Wishing you much abundance and gratitude! You are a wise kind soul.

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