Complex Trauma and the Meaning you Give to It
When you are suffering your ‘wanting to solve it’ mechanism automatically kicks in. When you suffer emotionally it is felt viscerally. It sits in the body and the body isn’t a happy place to be in right then.
What happens is that at those moments of activation, your energy gets pushed upwards into thoughts, into thinking and busyness. It produces racing thoughts that might go back to the past and replaying over and over what happened to you. It goes into analyzing the why of it all and how to possible get rid of it, be done with it, get away from it and so on and so forth.
In short; what happened to you gets a lot of meaning attached to it. It can’t be otherwise as with any post-trauma period or incidence; it has been overwhelming to you. You have lost your sense of safety, healthy control and experienced a sense of helplessness.
PTSD, Complex Trauma and the Movement of Dissociation
That movement of emotionally feeling overwhelmed, that goes into excessive thoughts and ‘meaning giving’, through some form of judgment, is dissociation.
The difficulty of dissociation is that you get further caught up in what your thoughts tell you to do and these are often impossibilities.
You can’t undo your past. What happened to you happened. You also can’t change other people or set them straight even if you feel the urge to do so by wanting revenge or justice.
You Mind as a Meaning Making Machine in Trauma
And this is a conundrum.
You thoughts give meaning to what happened to you infused by some form of guilt, blame, self-reproach, shame, embarrassment, comparison, jealousy, pride, self-righteousness or regret. Those thoughts create an identity around the hurt you have experienced or might still be experiencing.
To move away from that hurt is to part from the identity you have created, out of necessity, around that hurt or within that hurt. And this is tough because we want validation of our hurt, we want justice, we want to hold on to blame or self-righteousness or any of the above because it helped keeping us afloat however painful it has been.
Healing from PTSD, CPTSD, Complex Trauma and Childhood Trauma
You really can’t overcome trauma, get rid of it, be done with it or solve it. It is a wrong approach that comes out of a natural survival mechanism for looking for a solution.
It is the negating of your thoughts of wanting to solve it, overcome it, get rid of it, that connects you with the body and this is going to be a little hard because you are negating your pain identity around your hurt as well.
Though it really is the only way forward to start to heal as you are shifting your energy and the importance you have put onto your hurt to another plane altogether.